Experiencing my life through words

::: Amae :::

There is no English equivalent for this word. But it describes the innate need and desire within each person to depend on and feel connected to other people—especially in relationships of love.

In a sense, amae is the desire to receive love.

At times we all may feel an emotional or spiritual hunger,

a kind of “psychic emptiness”.

Robert Browning calls it “the passionate longing of the heart for fullness.”

The Germans have a saying that accurately explains a part of amae:

“Freiheit in Geborenheit”

“freedom through emotional security.”

.This is beautiful.

It gets rid of our western culture’s traditional disdain for dependent persons. It captures the positive instead of the negative connotation in the word “dependent”.

The good news it that we can come to realize this enough to where our core being can say, “I was made for this.” Longing to belong is instilled in our very nature. The Japanese concept of amae reveals that our intuition to belong, both to others and to God, is something instinctive that is common to all mankind.

Amae influences attitudes toward all personal and group associations. Do we go about our day realizing that amae is working in all aspects of our life?

And if that is true when we encounter romantic love our amae within immediately recognizes a fulfillment that could potentially be filled THEN

True romantic love cannot come into existence unless the desire for amae is already secretly present.

So where does personal identity, individuality, and belonging intertwine? Does having a belonging heart confine us or liberate us? I believe that no true romantic belonging was ever intended to smother or submerge our sense of personal identity. However, to each his own to figure out how to belong to someone else and remain independent enough to grow individually.

To keep progressing and making it through our own personal test is the quest I am seeking to understand and conquer.