Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Glances
Today I saw someone.
I glanced at him. I'll admit it was at first been because he was more machine than man but I quickly changed that and then it was because he exuded endless emotion of nothing... I guess you could say he was in a state of thought provoking boredom.
Does that make sense?
Maybe not.
I stole glances at him secretly and discreetly. I guess I didn't have to since he was sitting right north of me at Gurus restaurant. It was a perfect view to this someone man.
A man with glasses. Overweight. In a machine powered chair. Lazily tapping his fingers.
Breathing tubes right and left coming from an unknown source.
He was unwillingly immovable. No smiles. He just sat.
An old man followed behind him into the restaurant. I presume it was his Father. They sat in silence. The man in the chair looked around at people. Mostly couples sitting together, laughing, talking, eating, just being. I'd bet he was watching the expression of love. I saw longing in the man's eyes. It was a blank longing.
Does that make sense?
I dont know.
More silence.
Not because Father and Son had nothing to say to each other.
I think it was because they were lost in their own thoughts of nothing.
Do you understand my thoughts?
Do I?
I didn't stare because his legs and lungs were disabled. I stared because his relunctance to smile.
He stared at people around him. He blinked. He breathed. He watched.
In this we are the same. I blink. I breathe. I watch.
But somehow in the many glances I stole, I felt his pain. In the middle of my dinner conversation I was able to watch him and feel his solemn grief. I could almost imagine what his whole life had been.
Not my place to invade on someone's personal life?
Probably not.
We all do it though. I know you are already thinking back when you glanced at someone and made presumptions.
My point is not really a point. It might not even be a thought. But a feeling.
I felt that he was lost in sorrow.
I felt that he was pining for a 'normal life'.
I wish I could tell him there is no such thing as normal life.
That we are all the same and all different.
We all feel sad. We all forget to smile.
We blink.
Breathe.
Watch.Monday, March 28, 2011
The Proposal
A few weeks ago Brad and I decided to go St. George, UT this weekend to visit his Mom and to get away from Provo. We went down this last Thursday (3hr drive) and went to dinner with his Mom after we got there. Then when we were going to bed, (he slept on the couch, I slept in the guest room) I made a joke that my ring finger was sad because it didn't have a wedding ring on it. he laughed and said it was coming soon enough. He then said that he would tell me that he was going to propose around an event that was special to us. I guessed, "General Conference?" and he laughed and said ya. Well after talking some more he started to get sad because he wanted it a surprise and was mad he told me anything. So I went to bed after feeling a little bad I had asked and guessed etc.
The next morning we went Zion's National Park which is an hour drive from his Mom's house. We were going hiking all day! We packed snacks, got all dressed (it was so cold, and rainy but we still wanted to go) and we had such a blast driving down singing in the car, and talking about how we met and all that. I asked him if he was uncomfortable to be cuddling in front of his mom... he said, "oh really? I didn't notice." then I said, "ya you have just been acting a little different..." but he kept trying to change the subject so I dropped it.
Our first hike went well. We had such a good time and we laughed and talked. On the way back down the trail we started talking about things and how we want to communicate much better than other people we have noticed. I started reflecting back on the times I was such a baby, and over reacted during many of our conversations. I fell into more of a silent-pensive mood but we still had fun. I was going over different things in my mind when we got back to the car and started driving to the next hiking location.
All of a sudden he pulled over and said that a friend of his had told him to check out some kind of platform gazebo thing that was by a small waterfall. So I said we should go see it before we head down to the next hike. He kept saying, well we can just come back or do it another time.. however I said, "nah, lets do it now." so we did and as we walked up it started lightly raining. I was cold but enjoyed being out in nature.
I looked out over the balcony and he put his arms around me from behind. I felt so much love as I was being held and wondered where it all came from so out of the blue ;)
then he turned me around and said, "I have your birthday present with me. Want to see it?" (He has been saying that he was making me a present for 1 1/2 months now) I was surprised but thought it was cute. Then he got it out of his backpack and handed me a photo album. I started to open it and he stopped me. "wait, let me put on a song". So he turned on our song, You belong to me by Jason Wade and as it rained I looked through the pages. I immediately started crying and was so touched that he would do this for me. The first page said, "for Valentine's I gave you ten reasons why I loved you. Now I want to tell you why I choose to marry you". (at this point I still had NO idea what was coming.. hahah) at the end of the book it had a picture of the Sacramento Temple saying -Brad and Cailey August 19th, 2011-- I looked up and said, "oh how sweet of you!" then turned the page and saw a picture of the ring. I was almost mad because I thought he was teasing me showing me a picture but not giving it to me till next week at conference. Then he turned me around and knelt down.... he told me he loved me. He said that he would provide and protect me. That I was his best friend and that we belong together. "I choose you Cailey. Will you marry me?" I was SHOCKED and cried and cried! So happy and so calm! It was the best feeling I have ever felt.
The best part was that he opened the ring box up and it was upside down! I just laughed and said, "it's upside down but YES YES YES!" then we kissed and it started pouring rain and then it started to hail. I did not feel any of it. I just felt warm in his arms and cried over and over. I felt so happy and I know it is the right thing. Bradley said that as he drove by this place he knew that was the place and time to do it. He hadn't planned any particular place, but was waiting to feel the right time to do it. And that moment on Friday the 25th of March at 1:40 pm was the perfect moment. We laughed and had such a good time taking pictures and looking at my hand actually wearing my ring! I can't wait to marry him and can you believe it--- I am engaged!!!!!!! We hiked the rest of that rainy day so happy and so wet. There was no reception for cellphones so I didn't call or tell anyone till later that day, but that is how I wanted it. Private and personal. Now my finger isn't lonely any more!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Janelle Monae
1.
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnefUaKCbc
3.
Hope you enjoy this psycho but awesome artist!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Count of Monte Cristo
Abbe Faria: Here is your final lesson - do not commit the crime for which you now serve the sentence. God said, Vengeance is mine.
Edmond Dantes: I don't believe in God.
Abbe Faria: It doesn't matter. He believes in you. "
— Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo, V1)
Beautiful huh? That is really the message for those who don't believe. And is an assurance for those who do. God believes in us. Always.
Happy Thursday!
Friday, October 29, 2010
and more pictures


My friends from Freshman year. They are back from their missions!!! Me after my race, Us at general conference, Alexa and I at the BYU football game, Morgan and I going to the Opera, Lexa and I at La Jolla Groves for lunch! mmm!, Mj and I at her goodbye party, and a hilarious picture my roommate took of Brad, Hudson and I. haha So creepy but I had to put it up! Ps. Brad has a beard and mustache because he had a biking accident. Got 9 stitches on his chin hence the no shaving, road rash all over, and skin taken off his hands. He is hardcore.
Fall semester of senior year
I ran my 3rd half marathon September 11th. It was hard but worth it. Lets just say it was up the mountain in draper, down the other side, and back up to the finish line. DEATH. It was a good ending to the season though. Can't wait for spring again! Bring on 1/2 marathon #4!!
Life has been really good though. Met a wonderful boy. It may or may not have been a very rough start but it has smoothed out to be so great! (p.s. His name is Bradley).
My best friend left on her Mission a few days ago. I was in denial for quite some time and the reality hit me the second she was set apart as a missionary. When the stake President gave her the blessing and said the words, I felt happy but miserable. It was weird. I knew she was leaving for 18 months and while I'm proud of her, I am also feeling left out. Dropping her off at the MTC (mission training center) I cried all the way to my plants class. Some of my school mates stared at my red eyes. oooooover it.
Speaking of my plants class -- it's love. Quite honestly, I love, love, love my minor. Outdoor nature and design! Couldn't be better! We are learning all about indoor plants and each lab we make a design with the indoor plants. I take them home and now my apartment is a greenhouse. I am up to 6 bigger plants placed around the apartment.
My sister and bro-in-law moved back to Utah and they brought their son (duh), my nephew with them! I love going over to see them and be with more family!!
This year I have gone to more football games and had a blast with a dear friend of mine. Alexa, you are hilarious, and we always have the best of times. Plus we discovered an amazing restaurant that we fell in love with. Can we go again please??!?!
I cannot wait to come home for Thanksgiving! It will be soooo nice to get away from school. Granted I will have lots of homework because somehow BYU thinks they need to be prestigious and demand higher expectations than other colleges but to be honest... I like that I go to a university that demands this of me. Graduating from BYU means that I survived one of the many demanding, prestigious schools (yay for me). By the way-- I applied for graduation yesterday! Craaazy. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Anyway, Life is great. But busy. I have had lots of fun, and lots of stressful times. Did I study in the library Friday and Saturday till midnight a few weeks ago? Yes. But luckily I have the best friends who joined me and we all studied together.
That's it for now!
Stay tuned for pictures!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Music. Music. Music.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Bromance. p'shaw.
This might prove my point:
(A conversation I heard at a Bromance house after spending a night with each other)
"duuuude, today was sick!"
"Ya man, it was gnarly out there"
"bro, seriously, it was f'ing tight" (they really said the letter F-ing tight. NOT the real word. hah)
"dude, tonight was seriously rad brah."
Lets just compare this with another conversation about a date: A conversation I hear after any guy gets home from a date.
"dude, how was it?"
"aight, she's a cool girl"
"ahh yaa"
hmm... the difference is that they have more fun with the bros. Its bromance. This particular syndrome happens to at least... ALL boys at BYU. But luckily some come out well and married, some can't stand it for long, but SOME stay trapped forever. And that's just wrong.
So guys, chill out. Man up and pull away from the urge to chill with the guys. Ask a girl on a date weekly. Spend more time than just an hour a week talking to the female race. Have the courage to break up your bromance. please. please. please.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Art Post

I was in London three weeks ago and Saw these two paintings which I loved. One is by John Everett Millais: the Order of release 1746
It is a depiction of the release of a Jacobite soldier and his wife and child there to get him. The wife is handing the slip of release to the Guard.
The second is a sweet painting I had never seen nor heard about. Philip Hermogenes Calderon: Broken Vows 1856. The woman in the painting has recently discovered that her lover, whose initials are carved in the fence, has been unfaithful. You can see her lover and a new girl behind the gate.
Random Post.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday the 13th
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Unexpected trip
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
She remembered and said "pray"
Her words ended and we began to eat. I sat there and felt gratitude in my heart. This is probably some of the last bit of advice I will receive from her. And I am grateful for the chance to hear this tender mercy, to be her grand daughter, and to know this woman of faith: Olea Mae Babbel Woolf
Thursday, June 17, 2010
One of the best APPLE advertisements
Click on APPLE to watch it.

